bonjparoles

They did so many fun activities today. Both of them feel so content and Nikolei never been happier every time he gets to spend time alone with the light of his life. All the weight on his shoulders vanishes whenever Daniel’s smile lights up. Everything just feels right again.

They are currently laying on the sheets they rent for their little picnic at the park. Waiting for the sun to say goodbye. Daniel menjadikan tasnya sebagai alas kepala sementara Nikolei menjadikan paha Daniel sebagai bantalnya.

He rests his head against the muscly thigh. Making himself comfortable while on it. “The cheerleader thing makes your muscle very toned. Jadi ga empuk lagi,” ucap Nikolei sambil memejamkan matanya.

Daniel tentu saja langsung mendengus tidak suka. “Dari pada Lei tulang semua ga ada isinya.” Nikolei diam tidak membalas apa-apa lagi. Keterdiamannya membuat Daniel merasa menang dan puas karena ucapannya berhasil membuat Nikolei kehilangan kata-kata. Tapi yang selanjutnya terjadi membuat Daniel menjerit keras dan beberapa pasang mata menengok ke arah mereka. Nikolei baru saja menggigit pahanya membuat Daniel langsung terlonjak untuk duduk. Ia langsung menyingkirkan kepala Nikolei dan mengelus-elus pahanya.

Gigitannya sudah pasti akan berbekas, mana sekarang Daniel sedang memakai celana pendek. Ingin sekali ia memukul dan melunturkan senyum di wajah Nikolei yang tampak sangat amat bangga dengan perbuatannya. “Stop smiling for God sake. What are you? A dog?” He doesn’t stop smiling dan malah semakin melebarkan senyumannya. If he has a tail it would wagged so hard like a dog.

Daniel menunjuk bekas gigitan di pahanya yang terekspos sembari mengucap segala serapah yang terlintas di benaknya karena temannya tidak kunjung berhenti tersenyum. Tapi amarah Daniel justru membuat Nikolei merasa tenang. All the words that spat at him sounds like a bee making honey on their nest and his vision suddenly all blurry. The only thing he sees is Nini who spark his canvas full of colours that none of his palettes had.

“I like you,” he blurts out. “A lot and probably more than that.” He has no idea how the guts finally made him speak his feelings and make the boy in front of him go silent. Daniel didn’t catch what was going on right now. A minute ago Nikolei bit his thigh, later on he smiled like a dog being proud of what their doing, and now did he just hear his childhood friend say he likes him or it’s just the wind that carries another man confession.

“Lei, can you repeat what you said, please?” Daniel wants to make sure once again.

When Nikolei repeats the confession it sounds like chirping birds and all the people’s talking put together in one, drowning every voice coming out from his childhood friend. “…you.” is the only word he catch and the rest is just wind piercing past his ears.

Nikolei dengan hati yang berdebar kencang menunggu tanggapan dari pria di hadapannya. Apapun jawaban Daniel akan ia terima. It doesn’t matter if his feelings don’t get reciprocated. But it also scares him if his Nini doesn’t feel comfortable anymore and chooses to stay away from him.

While Nikolei waits patiently for feedback Daniel is panicking inside. Trying to put all the words he could hear earlier into a decent sentence. He only remembers Lei saying “I like you” and nothing else. There’s no way he really said that right. Well even if he does like him, Daniel also like Lei. Isn’t that why they become friends in the first place or is it a different kind of like that involves romantic feelings? The thing that he and Sadam once had?

“Are you saying you like me in a no-friend way?” Daniel asks him once again.

“Yes.” Nikolei mendekatkan dirinya kepada Daniel. “I like you, a lot, and more than friend.”

Daniel couldn’t believe what he just heard. “How? Since when?”

“Since forever and only God’s know how I’ve been holding myself to tell you. I don’t wanna ruin what we have, Ni. It’s so beautiful and if my confession makes you go away I will forever hate myself, but I did anyway, revealing myself to you. I will accept the consequences, if you want me to go back to Indonesia right now and wish to never see me again I will do it instantly.”

“Whoa… Hold on. I know everything happens so fast and I’m also still trying to process everything,” Daniel pauses a moment and takes Nikolei hands in his. “Lei, you are a very precious person to me and I will never ever want you to be away from me. So, please don’t ever say things like that again.”

Nikolei now feels guilty for thinking Daniel wants him to be away. Before he can say anything that can soothe the boy Daniel speak his mind first. “I know you must want an answer right now, but I can’t think straight.”

“Nini, hey, sweetie, It’s not a big deal if you can’t give an answer right now. Actually, I don’t think I ever needed any answer. I just want my Nini to know there’s a man who feels lucky he can be accepted in a way no other people can’t accept him. Remember when you never gave up encouraging me to choose art when in real life you’re also dealing with the same problem or there are days when I don’t feel confident with my drawing but you keep telling me I did very good and Picasso should be lucky I’m not born in the same year as him or else it’s gonna be Pablo Nikolei not Pablo Picasso.” Nikolei smiles and tucks Daniel’s hair that blown by the wind behind his ear.

“I find a sanctuary in you. A place where I feel accepted no matter who he is or becomes. You allows me to always be myself. Without you I don’t think I can be who I am today. Oops… Did I just do another confession?” Nikolei giggles when Daniel open and close his mouth repeatly not knowing what to say. “Let’s focus on the sunset. Don’t think too much about what I say. Okay?”

He doesn’t want Daniel to overthink any longer. They are here to have fun. Most importantly he only wants to make Daniel happy and whatever the answer will gonna be, he will face it with an open heart.